I need help removing her.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
