it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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