I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
