I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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