after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize
