Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
