FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
