True but thats because hes a fetus.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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