I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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