Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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