No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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