But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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