So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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