is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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