I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
