i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
