Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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