I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
