id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Shame is for Republicans.
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