he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize