We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize