I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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