I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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