Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
