Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize