i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?