I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men