Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...

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(330): View more from Ohio

We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob

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(360): View more from Washington

Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(256): View more from Alabama

I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!

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(253): View more from Washington

Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor

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(906): View more from Michigan

After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?

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