I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
