I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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