If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
