What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
if only i could text you this smell
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
