used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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