just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
