you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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