we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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