I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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