Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
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I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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