He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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