Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
