Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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