Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Randomize
