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I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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