My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
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Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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