it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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