i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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