i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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