Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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