I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize