I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
