I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
