:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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