I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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