Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
