I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
