It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
