I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
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New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
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I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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