EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
