he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Randomize
