whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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