Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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