he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
