Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
