Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
