He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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